On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom
loved to play together. One day, the two were playing
when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken
to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran,
back to the farm.
Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the
farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with
the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied
the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the
ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope
hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back
at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy to see
the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley. He managed to
get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to
him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of
the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly
forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike,
rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to
the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser
when he returned. The friendship between the two
animals was cemented:
best buddies, best pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and
soon, he too began to sink and cried out to the horse
to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked
over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking
underneath, he told the chicken to grab his dick and
he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a
good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out,
saving his life.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY
When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a
Harley to pick up chicks.
A little old lady had always wanted to join a
local biker club.
One day she goes up and knocks on the door.
A big, hairy,
bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms
She boldly proclaims, "I want to join your club."
The guy is amused and decides to humor her
a bit, so he says
she needs to meet certain biker requirements
in order to join.
The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's
parked over there,"
and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, I drink like a
fish. I'll drink any
man in your club under the table.
The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, I smoke like a
chimney. At least
4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day
and a couple of cigars
in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is very impressed and asks, "You
sound like one bad
Mama. Tell me, have you ever been picked up
by the fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says,
"Nope, but I've been swung around by my
nipples a few times."
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known
heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his bike.
mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked
over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and
asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its 'heart', take valves out, fix'em, put'em back in; and when I finish, it
works just like new.
So how come I get such a measly salary and you get the really big bucks when you and I are
doing basically the same kind of work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled, leaned over and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it with the engine running."
One night, a police officer was stalking out a
particularly rowdy biker bar for possible
violations of the driving-under-the-influence
laws. At closing time, he saw one of the bikers
stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, try his
keys on five different bikes before he found his.
Then, sat on the bike fumbling around several
minutes, looking as if he might pass out right
there. Everyone left the bar and rode off.
Finally, he started his engine and began to pull
away. The police officer was waiting for him. He
stopped the biker, read him his rights and
administered the Breathalyzer test. The results
showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer
demanded to know how that could be. The biker
replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy.
A biker's greatest achievement was his
brood of six kids. He was so proud
that he continually called his wife:
Mother of Six, which pissed her off a
lot. But he kept referring to her as
Mother of Six no matter where they went.
At end of a poker run, he shouted
across the bar, "Hey, Mother of Six, you
ready to go home?"
His irritated wife screamed back:
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
There's a guy sitting at a biker bar, just
looking at his drink. He stays like that for
half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making
biker steps next to him, takes the drink
from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The biker says,
"Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll
buy you another drink. I just can't stand
seeing a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my
life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my
office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me.
When I leave the building to go to my car, I
found out it was stolen. The police say they
can do nothing.
I get a cab to return home and when I leave
it, I remember I left my wallet and credit
cards there. The cab driver just drives
away. I go home and when I get there, I find
my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave
home and come to this bar. And when I was
thinking about putting an end to my life, you
show up and drink my poison..."